Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Where Bigfoot Walks by Robert Michael Pyle

Where Bigfoot Walks by Robert Michael Pyle stopped my recent cryptozoology obsession right in its tracks, almost as the female bigfoot with the 'pendulous breasts' stops, mid-stride, in the famous 1967 Patterson-Gimlin footage. Prior to this, I had breezed through several crypto-themed books, including Darren Naish's excellent Hunting Monsters at the usual speed I apply when I'm going through one of my periodical obsessions. But Pyle's book forced me to slow down. Not because it's bad, but because it is in fact a vast, many-chambered take on the Bigfoot mythos that simply demands that you take your time with it. It's big, yes. It's long, yes. But that's not the point. It's heavy.

Where Bigfoot Walks is unlike any book on cryptozoology you'll ever read. I mean, plenty of great books (Naish's among them) take the time to examine not only whether cryptids exist (spoilers: they probably don't) but why we need to believe in them. It's pretty common for thoughtful but science-minded writers to be skeptical on the subject of 'ol Biggie, and yet still admit a fascination with him. It's only Pyle, however, who seems to have taken this attitude to it's greatest extreme. Pyle examines Bigfoot as a real ecological possibility, as a symbol of the wild and our relationship to it, and as a classic image of mid-20th Century America. The sheer breadth of this book is astonishing. It is simultaneously a monster hunt, a psychological investigation of those who would hunt monsters, a spiritual examination of Bigfoot and the true nature of reality. How Pyle could focus on a (probably) fictional animal to create his celebration of ecology on Earth, and make this never for a moment feel inappropriate, is unbelievable. Where Bigfoot Walks is, incredibly, mostly a legitimate ecology book.

The book chronicles Pyle's attempts to hike across the Dark Divide, a mountain range in southern Washington state, a region that is awash in Bigfoot lore. He's not looking for Bigfoot per se. He's more interested in considering whether Bigfoot could be possible, from an ecological point of view. Where would it live? What would it eat? He's also interested in the people who believe. Why do they need this? Are they capable of being truly scientific? Whatever would they do if they actually caught the bloody thing? It turns out that the ethical ramifications of this are more complex than you would think. And it turns out that some believers wish to remain exactly that - believers, such that if actual proof was brought out into the cold light of day, another of the world's mysteries would be dead to them.

Pyle sympathises with this take, though he does not share it. For him, the scientific discovery of Bigfoot would force governments to place vast areas of the creature's forest home under strict protection. For Pyle, Bigfoot would be the ultimate protected species: one close enough to man to make us uncomfortable.

Where Bigfoot Walks takes many meandering strolls into a variety of realms. As I said at the top, it's a slow, varied read: sometimes light, often heavy. I especially enjoyed Pyle's takedown of conventional European religious society as an alternative to his semi-mythical, Bigfoot-centered nature worship. He believes, as I do, that for whatever reason we have taken a misstep somewhere along the way, and distanced ourselves from the rest of life on Earth, and that this separation is damaging both to nature and to ourselves. To Pyle, Bigfoot is a noble and majestic creature that has been ill-treated by decades of supermarket tabloid ridicule. And though he's writing in the 90s, before the filter bubble age and before cryptozoology became synonymous with close-minded folks who want to believe at all costs, I think he's onto something very important. Bigfoot, and an understanding (if not an appreciation) of fringe belief is more important now than Pyle could ever have guessed when he first penned this incredible book.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Wide Atlantic Werid: The Antlered Man Tape





Wide Atlantic Weird is an ongoing series of stories that explore the folkloric and sometimes spooky side of life. It's a selection of urban-legend styled stories that attempt to create that feeling you get when you come across a delicious little fragment of weirdness, a story that's so out-there it can't possibly be true, yet one which you can't dismiss out of hand. When you stumble across such a tale buried in a chapter of an old collection of 'unexplained' stories, or when you hear an unbelievable story from a listener to a podcast, that's Wide Atlantic Weird.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Off The Wagon Podcast: The Cult Movies of Neil Breen


Before the Strange Ireland podcast, which focused on strange aspects of Irish history, I occasionally hosted a 'cast called Off The Wagon. Now it's back! It's more varied, less scripted, and lots of fun. The first episode is about the terrible, terrible movies of Neil Breen.


The movies of cult filmmaker Neil Breen are so bad they're hallucinogenic. Hypnotic, even. Cian and Ali can't get enough of them. In this 'cast they discuss all four of Breen's movies.

To feed his ego, Breen always casts himself as a super-powerful, flawless hero. Sometimes he's a genius hacker, sometimes a successful author, sometimes he's even a straight-up Space Jesus come to punish humanity for its mistakes. But you can be sure that there will always be lots of hacking of government and corporate secrets, lots of awkward canoodling with much-younger women, and lots of astoundingly bad writing, acting and dialogue.

The movies of Breen are like nothing you've ever seen before. He's the new Tommy Wiseau: if you think The Room is funny, Neil Breen elevates bad movie-making to an art form. Newbies and Breen-iacs alike will find something to enjoy in this deep-dive. Check out what happens when Off The Wagon goes full Breen.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE!

Show Notes:
The Selfish Breen, from the Bad Movie Bible
Inside Neil Breen, from LeoHunt.com
I Am Here ...Now drinking game, from Movie Boozer
All music by The Scuts

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Wide Atlantic Weird: The Cult Of The Minnesota Runestone


Wide Atlantic Weird is an ongoing series of stories that explore the folkloric and sometimes spooky side of the Irish-American connection. It's a selection of urban-legend styled stories that attempt to create that feeling you get when you come across a delicious little fragment of weirdness, a story that's so out-there it can't possibly be true, yet one which you can't dismiss out of hand. When you stumble across such a tale buried in a chapter of an old collection of 'unexplained' stories, or when you hear an unbelievable story from a listener to a podcast, that's Wide Atlantic Weird.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Book Review: The Man Who Missed The War by Dennis Wheatley (1945)


My job, for odd reasons, gives me access to untold amounts of beat-up old pulp paperbacks, which gives me no end of joy. Dennis Wheatleys are fairly common, probably because here in the UK, it seems up until some point in the 70s, every house was contractually obliged to have at least a small number of them. Despite being something of an amateur expert on Britain's 'occult uncle' (I even read the mammoth biography The Devil Is A Gentleman), I'd never heard of this week's offering, The Man Who Missed The War. That's partly because Wheatley was so damn prolific, but also because it's not one of his occult-themed books, so it has been somewhat forgotten about over time.

Book Review: The Abominable by Dan Simmons (2013)



I guess I have a complicated history with Dan Simmons now. His last mammoth, brick-like epic novel about survival in extreme cold, The Terror, stuck around my house for months haunting me before I could bring myself to crack into it. But once I did, I became consumed by its tale of the 1845 Franklin expedition and its doomed attempts to find the NorthWest passage. The book got me through a weird, lonely time in which I returned to my house one Christmas only to find that nobody else was home, and the heating was broken. I shivered through several days before either of these situations could be rectified, eating up the pages of Simmons' masterpiece, glad only that I was at least safe from the twin horrors of cannibalism and being stalked by unknowable Arctic monsters. The book even left me with a recurring fascination with polar exploration, and the Franklin expedition in particular.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Wide Atlantic Weird: The Washington Sound Map


Wide Atlantic Weird is an on-going collection of stories that comment on the connections between Ireland and America - in particular, the shared weirdness that I have found in both cultures. I was going through a fairly big Sasquatch phase when I wrote this one. I've always been fascinated by the big guy, ever since I collected potboiler books of 'the unexplained' edited by Colin Wilson when I was a kid. In college, I got to do a bit of travellling and camping in California and Oregon, and this inspired this little tale...

(Received via email, August 2018)

Hi Cian,

Call me Claire Redfield. I’m a fan of the show. I’m especially enjoying the listener-submitted stories, and I have a story myself that I think will be suitable for inclusion, if you can bring yourself to believe it.

In late August 2013, I was just out of college, and I was hiking a section of the famous Pacific Crest Trail. The year before, I had read Wild by Cheryl Strayed, and like many others, I was inspired to lace up a pair of boots and follow her out into the wilderness. Also like many others, I had never even heard of the PCT before reading the book, and I was probably a bit under-prepared for the reality of it. Especially considering I’m from Wicklow town, where the biggest wilderness I had access to was the Wicklow mountains. And while it’s just possible to get lost in the those mountains (a small number of people do every year), it’s difficult to feel that the area is big enough to hide anything from humanity.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Wide Atlantic Weird: The Legend Of The Inisfola Broadcast





Wide Atlantic Weird is an on-going collection of stories that attempt to create that feeling you get when you come across a delicious little fragment of weirdness, a story that's so out-there it can't possibly be true, yet one which you can't dismiss out of hand. When you stumble across such a tale buried in a chapter of an old collection of 'unexplained' stories, or when you hear an unbelievable story from a listener to a podcast, that's Wide Atlantic Weird.

Source: Strange World, B.W. Bourke, 1995

Though Ireland was neutral during World War 2, the Irish government maintained a radio outpost off the coast of Kerry in order to monitor both Allied and Axis military radio chatter. The location of this facility was Inisfola Island, about fifty miles off the Deargalagh peninsula. A radio tower was built, as well as several maintenance and residential buildings, and the facility was staffed by Irish Army officers who were formerly stationed at the Curragh, where both British and German POWs were held, so they themselves were fluent in German. During their three years of operation, they recorded no definite evidence of military activities that threatened to breach Irish neutrality. However, in January 1945, they received a transmission that remains unexplained to this day.

Wide Atlantic Weird: A Phone RInging In A Deserted Hotel






Wide Atlantic Weird is an on-going collection of stories that attempt to create that feeling you get when you come across a delicious little fragment of weirdness, a story that's so out-there it can't possibly be true, yet one which you can't dismiss out of hand. When you stumble across such a tale buried in a chapter of an old collection of 'unexplained' stories, or when a friend reluctantly tells you an impossible story in the small hours after a night of playing Resident Evil, that's Wide Atlantic Weird.


Source: An email from a friend I will refer to as ‘Chris Redfield.’

Hi Cian,
We’ve been talking a lot recently about the subject of the supernatural, and I know you’re looking for some stories to read on your show. Well, I’ve got at least one story I can share with you that I think would be suitable. I haven’t told it to you before because it’s from a somewhat dark time in my life, and it brings up some bad memories. I don’t know for sure that this is because of the unexplained event that happened to me, but this strange happening and my dark mental state at the time are inextricably linked for me.

Friday, August 31, 2018

Irish Horror: The Lodgers (2017)

The Lodgers is a 2017 Irish film directed by Brian O'Malley, stars Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner and Eugene Simon, and was filmed almost entirely at the infamous Loftus Hall in County Wexford, a real-life source of many urban legends and the location of much legend-tripping.

I first heard stories about Loftus Hall while I was was in college. Many of my colleagues from the southeast side of the country knew of this place. Today it has been reinvented as a tourist attraction (dark tourism, I guess) but back then it was dilapidated, rotting, and hella spooky. Pretty much everyone who spoke to me of the place had visited with their friends upon a dark night on a 'dare.' There are myriad local legends about the place, some of them unique to Loftus Hall, others seeming to be the kind of generic myths that get attached to any spooky old building. In particular, it was most often said that a gentleman visiting the Hall centuries ago was revealed to have been the Devil himself (he revealed a cloven hoof when a lady bent over to pick up a dropped playing card), upon which he disappeared through the roof in a pillar of fire. The patch where he burst through the roof was said to be still visible. Suffice it to say that Loftus Hall is a unique location in which to set a period ghost story movie, and I heartily approve. 

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Irish Horror: Wake Wood (2011)

I took the time last week to watch a couple of recent (ish) Irish horror movies, and while I probably won't have time to record my thoughts on them for the podcast, I'm instead going to scribble a few ideas here. I figured that I'd be covering more Irish horror on the 'cast, especially as there are now more and more entries in this once thinly-populated category, but between one thing and another, I haven't got around to covering many yet. Anyway, here's my two cents on 2011's Wake Wood. There'll be no spoilers, and these are not really reviews as such, more a collection of analytical notes, if I may use so grandiose a term.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Off The Wagon: The New Barbarians



















During the 80s, the Italian movie industry went crazy imitating certain big-budget movies. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior somehow earned more Italian rip-offs than most, so to learn more about this bizarre fixation, Cian and Ali decided to check out 1983's The New Barbarians. If you dream of a post-apocalyptic future in which bands of 'Templars' in tight white uniforms drive around quarries wielding awkward weapons from tinfoil vehicles, then this might be the film for you!

Listen to the podcast here.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Off The Wagon: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

In the late 80s, legendary egotist William 'Captain Kirk' Shatner finally got his chance to direct a Star Trek movie, to the horror of the rest of the Trek cast. For years he had tyrannised them on the sets of the original TV show, and had barely held back his frustration that fellow cast member Leonard Nimoy was getting to direct the Trek movies that followed! Now was his chance to show them all what he could do - and he had a typically bold and ambitious story to tell, too. The result was one of the most hated of all the original crews' cinematic adventures. Join Cian, who still has some love for this mess of a movie, and Donal, who really doesn't, as they find out exactly what went wrong during the making of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

Listen to the podcast here.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Off The Wagon: UFO Special


Why do we think of flying saucers and little grey men when we think of aliens?

Inspired by too many late nights skywatching (and X-Files watching), special agents Cian and Chris get spooky once again as they tackle the topic of Unidentified Flying Objects. And as the age of fake news and conspiracy thinking is upon us, it's more important than ever to know why people continue to believe weird things!

Chris has been doing some field research and brings several sightings from the Cork area to our attention. Then Cian brings us down the rabbithole to discover the details of the very first true 'flying saucer' sighting as well as the first 'alien abduction' report to find out what we can learn from studying these cases. In between, we learn that the Victorian age had its own UFO-style 'phantom airship' hysteria. We round things off with a discussion about looking for alien civilisations and Dyson spheres.

Listen to the podcast here.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Off The Wagon: Conan The Barbarian

WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? The Off The Wagon podcast crew bring you the answer to this age-old question in this big-budget, large-cast, epic-length extravaganza of a review. It all began in the very early days of 2017, in the age before the oceans drank Atlantis, when four movie fans gathered in snowy Toronto to have a few beers and discuss 1982's Conan The Barbarian.

It soon became clear that this movie meant a lot to most of them, and the discussion took many an unexpected turn: the career of right-wing gun-nut director John 'Red Dawn' Milius, a comparison of the careers of both Schwartzennegar and Stallone, religion, philosophy, Niezche and Ronald Reagan. Whether or not you're a fan of Conan, there's much to enjoy here, as this seminal movie turned out to be ripe for more analysis than anyone thought possible!

The participants: Cian, Donal, Matt and James. Check out James' amazing band Villainest by clicking here!

Check out the podcast here.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Off The Wagon: KISS Special


Here we bring you a VERY special episode of Off The Wagon. Cian is reunited with his brother Donal in snowy Montreal to talk about the history of the band KISS. Donal has long been a card-carrying member of the KISS army, and Cian has had to live with the results of this obsession, so there's a lot to talk about! And the guys have come up with a special concept just for the occasion: instead of reviewing a book or movie, they each read two of the four KISS biographies (along with a few other books for good measure, as they just couldn't stop themselves) and now they discuss the story of the band's career through the often-conflicting lenses of the four members.

Even for those with no interest in the music, it's a fascinating trip into the world of four conflicting personalities who decided to dress in leather, paint their faces white, tour the world and fight bitterly with one another for over 30 years. These guys wrote awful things about one another on a regular basis, remember events differently and big themselves up in their books to a hilarious degree. Rock 'n roll excess, spectacle, terrible business and artistic decisions: there's something for everyone here, and as KISS would say themselves, you wanted the best, you got the best!

Get stuck into the podcast here!

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Off The Wagon: Fatal Deviation



For the first time in a long time, Cian is joined in person for a podcast by messrs Ali and Tom to take down Ireland's first (and only?) homegrown martial arts movie, 1998's Fatal Deviation. There's no shortage of kicks, punches, Londis tarts, elderly gangsters or kung fu druids in this epic. A film made with considerable heart and effort. I think it's fair to say that not every punch landed, so to speak, but clearly everyone involved gave it their all. If you've ever wondered why winning a local fighting tournament would automatically give you control over a small Meath town ... well, you won't really find out exactly why this is. But when Jimmy Bennett goes head-to-head with unscrupulous drug runners in the fabled Bealtaine Tournament, he soon finds that there's everything to fight for!

Listen to the podcast here.

And, for the brave, find the movie here.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Off The Wagon Halloween Special

At last, it's time to gather round the campfire with Cian and Chris and get into the Halloween spirit! In this episode, our hosts share some of the finest true creepy stories they were able to gather from Cork and abroad. Many thanks to all of our friends who contributed their own personal tales of terror. Find out the truth about Clonakilty's terrifying 'creaky tree', discover what really scares our intrepid hosts, and travel with them on their own ghost-hunting escapades.

Listen to the podcast here.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Another Michael Crichton Podcast: Congo (1995)
















Join Cian and Chris for (they finally have a title) 'We Need To Talk About Michael,' a podcast in which they watch the movie versions of Michael Crichton novels and compare them to the original books, if they can remember anything about them, at least.

This time around it's 1995's Congo, a tale of diamonds, killer apes, and sesame cake. Listen in to discover why you never want Jimmy Buffett to fly your plane, why Tim Curry should never play a Romanian, and whether a pound of sugar is more expensive than a primatologist.

Like the movie itself, this 'cast had something of a troubled birth. Recording issues plagued the episode, so Chris, being a tech wizard, used some supercomputer thinking machines to piece the audio back together. Though there are still some audial oddities throughout, the banter is worth listening to, so click below, journey in search of the lost city of Zinj with us, and STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Click here to watch the trailer.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Off The Wagon Reviews: Name Of The Rose (1986)


If you've ever asked yourself, 'I wonder what Sherlock Holmes would have been like if he was a medieval monk played by Sean Connery,' then you've come to the right place! Cian and Eoghan don their robes to get medieval on 1986's The Name Of The Rose. Along the way, Cian gets schooled on historical matters and Eoghan learns the shocking truth that Hollywood likes to change the endings of your favourite books. Stay tuned for medieval murder mystery madness.

Listen to the podcast here.

Watch the trailer here.